by Anela Mei

It’s a rainy day today. The ground is wet and a cool breeze envelopes you. I can hear the pounding of the rain on my roof…then I wonder if the pounding comes from within. A pounding that I’ve become so familiar with lately. It starts with an insistent whisper inside my head as it slowly accelerates to a loud insistent thundering of frustrations that suddenly come rushing in. there’s nothing much I can do about. I can’t ignore it or condemn it to stay in the darkest recesses of my mind. It has stayed there for so long…and now it wants my attention. I wonder if I should deal with it now…I figured maybe I would.

The days pass slowly for me. Too slow, too dragging. All’s been said and done and no comforting words can undo the pain of my past. I believe that I’ve lived my life to the fullest. I experienced life the way I want it to be. Complete with it’s ugliness and beauty. I later on realized that you actually choose how you want to live it, experience it. I did mine the best way that I can. Head on. I wasn’t prepared for the collision! I was too headstrong and didn’t mind the signals. I pushed the limit and here I am now….

I’ve discovered how life have hurt me and how I’ve learned from them. I decided that I couldn’t really blame anybody for it. All that’s left for me to do is pick up the shattered pieces and start all over again. That’s what I will do now.

I’ve always heard the great philosophers and educators say….”live life to the fullest.”. I wonder what they meant by that. now I think I know. They should have said “live life to the fullest….then get an ambulance.”