“where He leads me i will follow, when He calls me i will hear”

that’s the line from one of the songs of the album my Utmost for His Highest…
everyday i consider the thought of what God has for me and where He wants me to be… i planned for my future and the way i see it now, my plans aren’t part of God’s plans for me… He points me somewhere else, the heart to discern what He wills for me isn’t that wise yet… a lot of times we do what we desire to, we focus on the goal but we forget to to ask God where he wants us to be… all for the sake of our personal growth (economically speaking, more often than not). i had my share of bitter sweet revelation… i still need to put my heart on it… it pains me a lot that my passion to sing seats on the wrong chair… every time i sing with the band and smile before the faceless crowd, my heart smiles and aches at the same time.. the irony of such experience chases me every time the band has to play, even during practices and jamming sessions… i sing for the world but i don’t sing for the One Who Created The World… i know that He owns everything that i am, even the gift to sing though i know that i’m not superb in singing… my passion for music is so intense that i even missed out serving God on sundays… the only day He asks of us… day after day i feel the emptiness even if i sing my heart out, i know He speaks to me… telling me that i’m in the right house of talent but i entered the wrong studio… we have different callings, some where called to minister by writing, some by singing, others by teaching… mine is to worship God by singing for Him and to teach kids on sundays… not for the world… your call might be to sing for the world and minister to them by your personal testimony, or to write songs that Glorify His name or songs that reflect a blessed heart and life… we have our own calling, we just need to have the heart which discerns what it is and the wisdom to comprehend God’s call… hope that we’re walking by God’s plan…so that along the course of our journey we wouldn’t feel the bittersweet revelation that we are walking along the road not planned for us to traverse…people may argue with this… but i firmly believe that God has His way of telling us that we’re not abiding to what He wants us to be… that’s why there’s permissive will… the moment i left the band, i felt as if a thorn has been pulled out from my mind and my heart, though they never understand my reasons; they never will not unless they understand the call…